It seems surreal for me to be at this point in my life. Many times, in my 38 years, I have been part of something that I felt like I didn't deserve to be part of. I had the great privilege of touring with 30 amazing people across the USA- putting on the most awesome allegory of the gospel- seeing people's lives changed for eternity- nightly! Once I got to live in the middle of a horse field in California in an Airstream for a whole summer....just learning about what it means to be a missionary. One time I got to go to the jungle in Mexico for 10 days, sleep on the floor of a barn, shower with iguanas, and sing and dance with the most beautiful children. I had the honor of playing ring toss and bowling with refugees' children in a camp in Hungary.
And now it is time to go again- to be part of something huge that makes me feel so humble and undeserving. There is something about stepping out of what you know to be lush and comfortable- to step into someone else's reality, someone else's hardship and pain. I can't explain it well with my words, but my heart feels it so very deeply.
I used to be so terrified of Africa. So terrified that God would call me there and I would have no choice but to go. I never once thought that God would have me beg to go.....for seven years. While I think it is totally Him that I get to make this trek with Operation Christmas Child, I think that it would have come one way or another. Because this is what I believe.....
You cannot close your heart to any of God's children. Not because you're scared, not because you don't want to get dirty, not because they're too far away. You can't just say, "My heart isn't in Africa" or "I'm not called to Turkey" because the truth is, you ARE called, and whether your heart is in it or not, His is.
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