I've noticed, after two solid weeks of hiding in the staff bathroom sobbing, that I am a very involved momma.
Yes, I had a feeling before, but these two weeks of watching my son walk out of the middle school (which I happen to work in) confirmed it. Make fun of me. It's ok. I'm good with it.
All the "lasts" hit me like a ton of bricks...last ride to work together....last time he gets trapped holding the door open for me and the string of kids/teachers behind me....last time I hear them say "Wow! Great manners!" or "There's no denying he's yours, Marla!"......last time splitting off in the hallway and saying "Have a great day, Benji! uhhh I mean Ben!!!!"...…..last time of him jutting his chin out at me when I pass him in the hall.....last time all of his friends warn him when they see me coming "It's your mom, Ben! BEN!! YOUR MOM!!!!"
I never wanted to embarrass Ben at school (except that time I wrote him up), but I LOVED being in the same building as one of my kids. When I subbed last year, the best thing ever was to get called up to the high school where Abby would track me down like a blood hound for hugs and insist that we have lunch together or, at the very least, meet up at her locker. While homeschooling was sometimes difficult, it forged strong bonds with my children. I'm so grateful.
So now come the firsts....yesterday was the first time Abby got a "senior" discount (Yes, they really gave it to us at a store that was having "senior" day and I mentioned she was now a senior!!!)….. we had our first JV football meeting for Ben to play for the high school...... we're going on our first roadtrip where a kid can help us drive...... and in a couple of months our kids will be headed to the same school together (that doesn't take place under our roof) for the first time.
It feels like all that is ahead for them are steps away from us. Lots of lasts to come, and lots of firsts.