Life is Writing Another Story

 

In my last post I mentioned that whenever life presents a new story then I take to the keyboard and write.

Here I am.

Life is presenting a new story.

On April 22nd, we moved into our new cottage in Albany.  Three of the four of us left Rochester and began a new life in Albany. (One of us still had six weeks of college classes left and took up with our neighbors to finish the semester out.)

Can I just be transparent with you?  Rochester never felt like home to us.  We met some amazing folks that we absolutely love and miss terribly, please don't get me wrong!  But Rochester (Pittsford) was harsh for our family on so many levels.  The initial move there was traumatic.  Andy's job experience with the company we moved there for...also VERY traumatic.  Two of the five years there were spent under a pandemic!  We just never truly felt endeared to the place.  We tried! But it was evident that we were there for life lessons and relationships so when the opportunity literally fell into Andy's lap to move us, we took it!  And here we are!

Ben started a new high school last week.  Yes, with less than two months to go in his junior year we transplanted him. Learning from his past (11 different schools growing up), Andy shared that he truly believed it was better to start with a couple of months to go than to wait an entire summer in anxiety with no friends.  Oh wise Andy!  He was right! Ben has a great first impression of his high school, of the culinary program he entered at the local vo-tech school, and of ALL of his teachers! (If you know Ben, then you know!)

Andy moved over the end of January to begin his new job which he truly enjoys.  He lived in an AirBnB apartment for three months and it was a little oasis.  While being apart was so very difficult, the apartment came with extra bedrooms so the kids and I would often alternate jumping on the train to visit Dad for the weekend and house-hunt.  (The house-hunt is a total blog post in and of itself! OOF!)

I left my job at Sutherland High School and am back to full-time wife and mothering.  For those of you who know me well, you know this is my favorite career and I love it!  Actually, I'm more of a full-time unpacked right now...but HEY! It comes with its own set of rewards!  Just yesterday I found my bedding! WINNING!

Now I've caught you up on the beginning of our new story. There's so much to see unfold...will Abby move to Albany or stay in Rochester?  Does Ben pass the baking test with muffins that didn't rise? How will Marla and Andy celebrate 26? And what do they NAME THAT HOUSE????  Hmmm....maybe I should try writing a "Choose Your Own Adventure" blog...

(Thanks, Jaime, for encouraging me to write our new story.)

So much truth...

That last post though..... so much truth!

She did it.  She graduated Saturday.   

In what is, arguably, the worst year since ____(you can fill it in)____ my girl rose above all that this world has thrown at her to complete the education we began at the dining room table in Birmingham thirteen years ago.

We now look forward to her chasing her dream and studying World Cinema at Clemson University in September.  I say "we" because, well, chasing dreams has become a thing around here and we're all in it together.

Just over a year ago, Andy began chasing his dream of owning his own business.  It has been a rough road, and each of us have made sacrifices, which makes the buy-in even sweeter.  We encourage each other, support each other, attend football games in snow blizzards...well, you get the idea.  Andy is seeing success and we celebrate that together.  Abby graduated Saturday, and we celebrated together.

And now, I feel the time has come where Momma's dream is knocking at the door.  

I began this blog years ago with the hopes of keeping our far away family connected after my father died.  I needed connection, I needed an outlet, but mostly I just NEEDED to write.  It's part of me- who I am, what I want to be and do.  In the years since, I've come back to this blog to write when life dictated a story, and abandoned it when life was just too big and demanded all of me- my heart, my attention, my time.

I've been dedicating some time to growing myself.  I'm a big believer in lifelong learning and in recent years I have been surviving rather than thriving.  So I'm stepping out!  Signing up for some software courses, developing a better representation of myself online and on paper, and venturing into freelance writing.  It's exciting....and terrifying....and I didn't sleep a wink last night....but I'm ready to give my dream a shot!

 #wewatchedHamilton

Lasts Lead to Firsts

I've noticed, after two solid weeks of hiding in the staff bathroom sobbing, that I am a very involved momma.

Yes, I had a feeling before, but these two weeks of watching my son walk out of the middle school (which I happen to work in) confirmed it.  Make fun of me.  It's ok. I'm good with it.

All the "lasts" hit me like a ton of bricks...last ride to work together....last time he gets trapped holding the door open for me and the string of kids/teachers behind me....last time I hear them say "Wow! Great manners!" or "There's no denying he's yours, Marla!"......last time splitting off in the hallway and saying "Have a great day, Benji!  uhhh I mean Ben!!!!"...…..last time of him jutting his chin out at me when I pass him in the hall.....last time all of his friends warn him when they see me coming "It's your mom, Ben! BEN!!  YOUR MOM!!!!"

I never wanted to embarrass Ben at school (except that time I wrote him up), but I LOVED being in the same building as one of my kids.  When I subbed last year, the best thing ever was to get called up to the high school where Abby would track me down like a blood hound for hugs and insist that we have lunch together or, at the very least, meet up at her locker.  While homeschooling was sometimes difficult, it forged strong bonds with my children.  I'm so grateful.

So now come the firsts....yesterday was the first time Abby got a "senior" discount (Yes, they really gave it to us at a store that was having "senior" day and I mentioned she was now a senior!!!)….. we had our first JV football meeting for Ben to play for the high school...... we're going on our first roadtrip where a kid can help us drive...... and in a couple of months our kids will be headed to the same school together (that doesn't take place under our roof) for the first time.

It feels like all that is ahead for them are steps away from us.  Lots of lasts to come, and lots of firsts.

Dusting off the old blog.....

Hi Friends!  I know.  I know...it's been a while.  The last three years have been a blur.  In fact, I can honestly say that I never saw this coming.  By "this" I mean the moving to the North, the mental illness in my son, football, going back to work full-time, or Andy being unemployed....thrice....in as many years.

Life happens.  And can I just testify to the fact that it reeeeeeally doesn't care if you're prepared or not.  It.  Just.  Doesn't.

In the great and grand scheme of things...I have Andy.  I have Abby and Ben.  And Momma and Beth and Tomi.  I have Jesus and a faith that grows stronger by the day.  I have a great job with great insurance and summers off!  (For now) I have a comforting home with wonderful neighbors.  I have a church family of the most authentic, transparent, encouraging, and loving people.  I'm doing quite well. In spite of.... life.

I'm dusting off the blog because I have felt like I have a lot to express lately- and no safe place to do it.  Sometimes just putting the words down....triggers a relief..release...acceptance.  So I'm coming back. Re-vamping and adding and changing her.  She should be shiny and new soon.

To Parents Considering Buying Their Kids "Technology"....

I posted this on my facebook status yesterday in an effort to transparently reach out to parents on the cusp of this life-changing decision.  No, that is not an exaggeration.  Consider this an invitation to an open discussion.

For what it's worth....
  To anyone considering buying their kids "technology"....
  Buying my kids smart phones was the worst parenting mistake I have ever made. I can't blame ALL of my parental woes on that one decision- but it sent us careening down the slipperiest slope of family distruction that I never saw coming.  Sure, we had "talks" with the kids, made rules, supervised- but once caught in the independent mode of "shut out", coupled with the difficulty of a cross country move, it seems almost impossible to win them both back. The phones were just the beginning and I recently added to the chaos by buying my son an Xbox in October so that he could "keep his friends back home" by playing with them online. Right. Apparently, I never learn. I'm being completely transparent when I tell you that every day is a struggle in our relationship now.
  Please please please- be sure that you are sure when you give your kids that first smart phone, kindle, iPad, gaming console. Once you realize how difficult parenting through it is, it is too late to undo some (not necessarily all) of the damage. And to those of you who have had no struggle at all, I wish I were as strong and wise as you.

How I Make a 2 Week Menu

A couple of weeks ago we invited a family over for dinner.  I told them to pick the night, but I realize in hindsight that I should have mentioned the menu.  They chose Tuesday- soup night! Typically it would have been Mexican night, but my dear girl had been begging for my chicken noodle soup.  Now, don't think that I'm so rigid that I can't flip flop some nights around!  Truth be told, the produce I had bought for the soup was a week old and it was time for it to get in the pot! As the guests were heading out, I casually said "Come back when it's not soup night and I'll make you a proper meal!" This led to them asking about my meal planning and I couldn't believe their shock that I plan 2 weeks out...
"How do you manage that?"..... Well let me just tell you....

STEP 1: Get an idea of what you've got
  Since we just recently moved, my fridge, freezer, and pantries are not very stocked.  I finally have all of the basics (except cayenne-why do I keep forgetting to pick up the cayenne??) and am beginning to put away some meat in the freezer. Now, I know I have an opened (but barely used) bottle of wing sauce, and another of BBQ sauce, that I need to use before it goes bad.  I also opened some spaghetti sauce for lunches and didn't use it so there we go- 3 meals that fast!  Do you have any breads to use up? Produce?  Start with what you have so nothing is wasted, including your budget.

STEP 2: Check the ads
  This may be a deal breaker.  If you're a sold out, one store only kinda shopper than you might say, "Um, no." That's fine, you just may end up paying more out of your budget.  I sat down a couple of weeks ago, determined to buy my kids drinks for their lunches because they charge a ridiculous amount at school for a Gatorade.  The big store in town is comparable to Walmart's price- not bad! And I know I'm going to that store anyway because their chicken breast are $1.88 per pound and ground chuck is $1.99! But I see in their competitor's ad that if you buy 2 packs then you get 3 for free! that's a $21 savings! So now I know I'm going to these two stores and I build the rest of my menu around what is on sale. If neither has great sales, then I use the opportunity to try new recipes or old favorites.

STEP 3: Consider less conventional grocery sources
  Lately I have been really utilizing Amazon for my breakfast goods, paper goods, cosmetics, cleaning supplies, and some snacks.  I save a ton of money on "Subscribe & Save" and recently scored big thru Prime Pantry. If you're a Prime member, I encourage you to check them out. (And no, I'm not affiliated!😉) I also get our milk from the local dairy. It's a little more expensive, but still less than we were paying in Alabama, and I feel great supporting local business!

STEP 4: Set it out on paper
  I have yet to find my homemaking binder since the move. 😬  Just one more reminder that there are still boxes in the basement to unpack! In it, I keep blanks for my menus that I found online for free.  For a free printable, try here at www.batonrougemoms.com.  This is my favorite format- breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. Since I make my shopping list straight from my menu, I don't forget anything!




STEP 5: Grocery shop and cook!
  My menu for 2 weeks, including lunches and snacks are made so all that is left is to make my grocery lists and hit the store.  Andy has taken to going with me, but admits that 2 week shopping takes longer, especially in new stores that you're learning the layout of.  We return to the store only for items we run out of unexpectedly or produce that won't last 2 weeks.  This alone has cut about $100 off our grocery budget each month!  No more roaming the store and coming home with incomplete meals and unneeded items multiple times a week/month!

10 Practical Ways to Begin Financially Adulting

I hate money.  Seriously.  Money and I just don't play nicely together.  Sometimes it's my master, and rarely am I its. Since our move, I have spent a lot of time examining our relationship.  I have decided it's time to start financially adulting.

Hopefully you are not uncomfortable with this level of transparency.  Hopefully you may glean wisdom, tools, even encouragement from what I am going to share here.  First off, in my 21 years of marriage, we have never had a budget.  GASP!  I know!  We have always just winged it- and done a fairly horrible job of it!  We have implemented a few changes, and I feel like we are on our way to financially adulting- but a lot of  what we are battling is old habits, so I don't expect this to be easy. And let me say, for the record, that this is not a New Year's resolution.  The changes being made are born from years of poor choices and require a life change.  Here are 5 ways we are taking action to adult in our finances and 5 ways we are sticking to it!

1) We are limiting eating out.  This has always been a major stumbling block to our finances.  For a family of 4 (adult eaters) to eat out is >$35!  That's when I MAKE everyone order water! (Did you know we add $13 to our order just by flippantly ordering a Coke when we sit down at a restaurant?) In the past, we ate out as much as 5 meals a week! I shudder when I do the math on that one. For the past month, we have reduced that to one meal a week! I'll let you do the math there!

2) We budget monthly.  We have only lived here two months so I don't have a great feel for what our monthly bills are yet. We will re-evaluate and pick a system that works for us when we have a better idea of what is going out each month.

3) I menu plan and grocery shop every two weeks. Oh my gracious!  I just can't believe how much this saves us!  I budget $130 per week and arm myself with a meal plan that includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I have come in $30 UNDER budget for the last month!  I DO NOT let my kids buy lunch at school.  $3.00 for one slice of Dominoes pizza is ridiculous, unhealthy, and not going to fill my boy up in the slightest!  $2.00 for a Gatorade? I better not get started.....

4) Organize financial files.  Moving produces an unbelievable amount of paperwork!  Warranties, account set-up info, .....so very important to saving money- not to mention time- if you can get your hands on it when the need arises.  Part of choosing to adult financially is the care and tracking of ALL of our finances, including the hidden financial aspects of insurance policies, those warranties, and records of deposits for utilities.  This is what I'll be tackling in the next few days! Gathering supplies like a file box, hanging files, Manila folders, tabs, etc....

5) We are big BIG fans of using a flexspend (cafeteria) plan. For those unaware, this is where pre-tax dollars are drawn from your pay and deposited into a medical "savings account".  These funds are available for everything from ER visits to orthodontia!  Funds are generally available the first of the year- for the whole year!  I never miss the money because it comes straight out of Andy's paycheck so it never hits our account.  If you want to learn more about this, try going here research.

There!  Practical, simple ways to get started! Now here's how we're sticking to our guns...

1) Be accountable.  Not only are we accountable to each other, but I try to have that "one" friend who gets it- maybe is trying to adult in her own finances as well, or has already had a struggle and come out on the other side.  In a world where it is TABOO to talk about your money-find a person who could care less how much your credit debt is and that you feel like won't judge you!

2) Celebrate achievements!  Today I'm celebrating that we are breaking the eating out cycle! It is so thrilling to feel victorious in an area that has been such a struggle! Let your accomplishments empower you to take that next step! (Here I come, financial filing and organization!)

3) We dream vacation and virtual window shop!  Whenever I feel wanderlust tugging at me, I go onto VRBO and look at rentals in the place I'm dreaming of going to.  (Right now it's the Adirondacks or Maine!)  This helps me in 2 ways- I see a bit of a new place and it helps me to get an idea of how much I'll need to save to make the trip happen.  I also like to shop. (😬Not great for financial adulting!) This is where Pinterest, Amazon, Wayfair, etc come in.  I pin things so when I have the available funds, I can go buy the things needed for that DIY project...or I add things to my carts on the other sites and "save it for later" so I can keep an eye on the price and wait for it to go down before I make my purchase.

4) Remind ourselves!  Remember how it felt to not go on vacation last summer because you didn't have the money, Marla?  OUCH! How were those 5 meals you ate out every week last month that would have covered a cabin for 5 or 6 nights?

5) Are we being good financial role models for our kids?  Our answer for the last 15 years would be no!  Now our daughter only has 3 more years with us and we have to undo all of the financial irresponsibility we have shown her! Definitely time to make some good habits and choices and bring her into those conversations.

So, I'm sorry it's so lengthy- but there's our game plan moving forward for you.  I have been overwhelmed and put off by many "budgeting plans" out there and just needed some very practical places to get started.  Are you making the same changes in your life?  Please share your road/tips/encouragement/frustrations in the comments!

Rochester's Thornfield

                                                    

I said in my last post that I would announce the name of the new home in the next post...so....without further ado......

Rochester's Thornfield

I fought a great struggle with my heart over this one.  In the midst of considering his name (yes, this one is a he!), my niece texted and asked if I could help name her old beauty.  I let her know that naming a home is a terribly personal thing and that I would have to ask her many questions.  Him? Her?  From classic literature? What did she love most about her home? Sweet Niecling said that she loved its tall ceilings and woodwork but mostly that it is a place where people can gather. ❤️ My response was that I immediately thought of the house in the country that Bingley takes in Pride & Prejudice, Netherfield.  I began playing with her last name, Merrillfield? She liked using their last name and wanted to make another play on it...how about Merrily?  PERFECT! I suggested Merrily Hill, since her home sits above her street, and so it is!  My dear girl's first home is Merrily Hill!

So back to my struggle.  It wasn't as easy to name our Pittsford home as it was to name my niece's home.  I had Cainberly for fifteen years- in which time she grew to be such an unequivocal piece of our story that bringing her along to New York almost seemed sacrilege. He is so very different from her...a different age, a different style, a different culture, region, state, history.  I kept getting the feeling that I needed to let her go.  Meanwhile, what of Rochester's house? I noticed that I kept calling him that...Rochester's house. (I should note that, technically, he is not in Rochester but a suburb, Pittsford) And then, of course!  Rochester's house was Thornfield Hall! Oh how I love Jane Eyre! 

 Now please understand, I am not comparing this home to the ill-fated home of Edward Rochester! On the contrary, I expect light and love and happiness in our new life and home!  We are already so blessed by Thornfield. He brings such peace with room to breath, more than one bathroom, and a whole wall to the natural world where we have sat and watched birds, squirrels, deer, and even a fox! If you follow me on Pinterest and you see my "Thornfield" board, now you know that it's ideas for my new home!  Thornfield's doors are always open, won't you drop by sometime?

Thoughts on New York After 6 Weeks

Its been a while since a post.  I cringe when I look at the dates, but making a new life is tough work!  Here are some top, and transparent, thoughts after 6 weeks in:
1) No matter what we're led to believe in the South, New Yorkers are super nice people.
2) Making new friends is tough no matter if you're 12, 14, 42, or 48!
3) New York drivers are WAY better than Alabama drivers.....especially in snow.
4) Snow.  I could spend all day on this. It's cold, wet, and requires a lot of physical labor.  It's also serene, beautiful, and makes even an undecorated home cozy and inviting.
5) IT IS SO LOVELY HERE! So much natural beauty! Waterfalls, lakes, mountains- gorgeous!
6) They mean it when they say they want six points of identification AND your social security card to get a driver's license. This is non-negotiable.
7) Home is my new favorite place. Have I mentioned that I've named him? Next post!😉
8) Public school lunch is a huge rip-off and if I knew how to protest I would! 2 pieces of Dominoes pizza for $6???!!! No 12 year old boy gets enough from one slice! I digress.
9) I adore my husband. This move has reminded me of that a thousand different times.❤️
10) I had the most amazing church and church family EVER.  I will never be able, in word or deed, to express the amount of gratitude and love I have and will ALWAYS have for them.

I was going to limit myself to 10 thoughts, but I have this one last that I MUST share...

11) I would never have made it through the last 9 months alone. Texts, calls, drop ins, gift cards, meals, coffees......💕

Homeschoolers No More: Part 2

After much thought and prayer, I was finally able to admit that my children needed more than I alone was able to give them at home.  The opportunity came for my children to attend a very rigorous classical co-op.  I felt very strongly that was the direction we needed to take for 5th and 8th grade- not so much because I agreed with the philosophy of teaching, but because my kids needed to be pushed hard so they could experience what they were truly capable of. Also, they needed to be accountable to someone else for their lessons. Abby and Ben had adopted the idea that I was "just Mom"- that I didn't need their very best and that grace would always abound.

That was the most difficult year of our lives. We spent many nights schooling until 10 or 11 at night and we spent many days shedding tears with each other. Not only was school difficult, but Andy's job of 15 years took a turn towards an uncertain future. Come April, with a light shining at the end of the school year tunnel, Andy was laid off.  We finished the year strong.  I was so proud of those kids! They did things they just didn't believe they could do!  They were challenged and they met their challenges with strength and determination, never giving up.

We fixed up Cainberly and put her on the market, sure that God would bring a job and a buyer in record time. Six months later, no job.  The house had sold and, I'm not even kidding, the DAY before the movers came to empty her Andy got a job offer in Rochester, NY. (This was a huge answer to prayers of its own, but that's a post for another day!) We had already begun homeschooling for the year because we had no idea where or when we'd be moving so with so much transition it seemed the easiest thing to do.  Turns out, my friends, that the suburbs of Rochester host some of the top ranked school systems IN THE NATION! God blessed us with an amazing house in an amazing neighborhood in an amazing school district!

Last week my kids became homeschoolers no more.  Ben was dropped first, eager and excited.  Abby was dropped, nauseous and terrified.  After 3 days Ben hit his wall and Abby let me know that, perhaps, we hadn't made such a bad decision about schooling after all! Ben finished out his week strong, but I think PE may be his personal nemesis for a bit! Abby talks about lots of new friends and how much she loves her Military History class.

So why am I sharing all of this? I think I have learned a few lessons in my ten years of homeschooling and this may be the most important......life and people change.  Homeschooling my children was the perfect choice for them and for our family.  Choosing to discontinue homeschooling was, also, the very best choice for them and for our family.  At the onset of our homeschooling journey, I was convinced that everyone should homeschool and that once begun, you only ended with graduation-That there was shame in "quitting" and that it would signify some lack of love for Abby and Ben.  Since then, I have learned much more about grace- and about my kids in particular.  I've learned that God's plan for us may not look the same as everyone else's and that I should perhaps listen more to Him instead.  He holds my children's hearts, and their futures, and He loves them so much more than even I.

Homeschoolers No More: Part I

For ten years.  For ten years we have spent day in and day out together.  We have sipped hot tea and read amazing stories.  We've made salt dough maps and gone to the grocery store any time that we pleased.  We cried in frustration and we've cried in comical hysterics.  We have each grown and changed and learned.  Homeschooling is who we were.

If I were honest I'd say that we began homeschooling because we had no other choice.  We lived in an urban neighborhood with an inner city school system that did not inspire the confidence to convince us to send our children everyday.  Oh how thankful I am that we chose to homeschool.  If you've never done it, please let me share this with you.......teaching someone to read is simply the most fulfilling experience I have ever known.  Add to that the fact the students are your own children and, well, it's epic.

Our days and weeks and months and years were constantly evolving.  My goal was always to customize our curriculum and plans around the kids and their learning styles.  That worked perfectly for the elementary years.  Past that, I began to find planning difficult, and the children's love of learning began to ebb.  Suddenly my voracious readers became lazy learners, not finding the interest and passion in our time together as they once did.  Still living in the same place and situation, I felt trapped in homeschooling.  Not just in the act of homeschooling, but in the pride of homeschooling.

What do I mean "..in the pride of homeschooling"?  Homeschooling became my idol.  I was a martyr to the act of homeschooling.  I had sacrificed myself on the altar of my children's education.  What would people think of me if I quit?  What would people think of my children?  What would my identity be if not as a homeschooling mom?  Haven't I been told that my children would only suffer if they weren't home with me?

I began to comprehend that my children WERE suffering........with me! And I began to realize a change was in order........so I began to pray.

Stay tuned for Part 2......my prayers are answered!

The Naming of a House

You can't very well name something that doesn't belong to you.  Patience is, to me, the hardest to learn of virtues and I find myself being a student of her always. Waiting. Just waiting. Less than a month.

It really and truly seems like a dream.  I pray every day that come November 3rd the papers are signed, the keys are handed to us, and just as a snap of the fingers, quick and sharp, our lives are changed forever. Do we really become owners of this beautiful home? Do we really get to live in New York? Do our children really get to partake of all these wonderful opportunities? DO WE REALLY HAVE ACCESS TO THREE TOILETS UNDER OUR ROOF????😉😊

I almost feel like naming her would be a jinx, but I know that our God does not work like that.  Still, you can't very well name something that doesn't belong to you.

Naming Cainberly was so easy.  One whimsical day I decided, undoubtably whilst reading Austen, that our home needed a name.  After all, I thought, she is full of care and personality and deserves to be called so much more than "home". Though that little four letter word be packed with so much more than location, it just didn't evoke the feeling in my heart at the thought of her.  What house was charm and grace and love and wisdom and beauty personified? Well, Pemberly of course! And one step away was Cainberly and, thus, naming perfection!

My family thinks it ridiculous.  They always thought it ridiculous.

As we prepared to move, friends began asking "What of Cainberly? Will you name the next house? Will it be Cainberly too?"  I really didn't realize it had become quite the"thing"! I answered vaguely, guaranteeing it would not be decided upon until we owned our next home.  Here we are on the cusp of owning the next home and I'm startled by how much I find myself thinking of this very thing! But I have questions......
Do you name each house individually?
Is it the idea of home that I've given a name to?
If the above is true, she goes with us everywhere we go together so why would I rename her?
Longbourne, Netherfield, Mistlethwaite Manor.....where do I begin for this house?

You can't very well name something that doesn't belong to you.  I will be patient.....and look to you for inspiration,

When nothing goes as planned.....

"Let's sell the house, move to the suburbs, and put the kids in public school!"
"That's a great idea!  Let's do it!"

This was us in January.  We had it all figured out, didn't we?  Lots of conversations about downtown life, motivation, and community led us here. We knew where we wanted to go (still in Birmingham), what schools we wanted to be our kids first after homeschooling for 9 years, and we were ready to put in the work to make it happen.  A few weekends of fixing upping and the house would be ready for a bidding war the likes of which Crestwood had never seen!

Then came March.

Nothing will put a screaching halt on life plans like getting laid off.......especially if only one of you is employed! NO PROB- Andy will get a job in no time!

We regrouped. We mourned the plans we made.  We got to work.  Andy and I put in some intense hours of labor (along with a few friends) and finally had the house ready to put on the market......July 26! Yes, we grossly underestimated the amount of work and time it would take to make Cainberly presentable on the real estate market while job hunting! Then we waited for the bidding war to commence the very day she went live online......then we waited the next day- on the edge of our seats......and the next, and the next, and the next.  Completely dumbfounded, we lowered the price and finally got our first offer with the most perfect family who LOVED the house AND the trains. We were thrilled!

Then it fell through- and I was officially done- done with owning a home, done with selling a home......DONE.  And a week later we had another offer- this was the one.....almost exactly one month after putting it on the market.  No bidding war- oh, and still no job and no hopes of staying in Birmingham. And suddenly the feeling of loneliness started setting in.

I'm sure you're asking yourself, "How could she possibly feel lonely? She has two kids AND her man at home every single day!" But it's true.  In March I just knew God had an awesome plan for us and He would reveal it and we would just cruise on. By the end of July, I was feeling like the seven year old version of myself that got separated from Momma in the Mercer Mall- I knew she was there and wouldn't leave me, but for the life of me I COULDNT FIND HER!!! Where was God? And why couldn't I find Him????

To make a long story short......I'm still looking for Him.  I've caught a few glimpses of Him- a job interview, a second job interview, a passed inspection, a chance meeting with the buyer of the house......He's there and hasn't left me!

We close September 15 and will quite literally be homeless.  Everybody chuckles when I say that, like it's cute or a joke.  It's not.  But rather than let our story be a drama, we're making it an adventure! We're hitting the road! The pooches are getting a vacation in Indiana (Thank you Joey and Carly!) and we're going, by way of Niagara Falls and Saratoga Springs, to visit Momma in Vermont! I have never seen Andy so excited about a trip! Fall in Vermont- it really just doesn't get any better than that!

Or does it? Maybe He has other plans.

An Origami Owl Raffle!

HOORAY for an awesomely generous sister!

As many of you may know, my family (all 4 of us!) is heading to Hungary on a mission trip with our church June 18.  All of us, save Abby, have had the opportunity to go and fall in love with the country and people. We are so thrilled to not only go together, but also to see her reaction to all that we have been sharing with her from our hearts!  We will be partnering with the Paulus Movement- a ministry of Hungarians trying to reach their fellow countrymen with the Gospel- to help with a soccer camp outreach to the children of Budapest.

We have raised most of the support we need and we're down to the last $1000! (Yes! God is so good!) My fabulously amazing sister, Beth, has put this beautiful necklace from Origami Owl up for raffle along with 4....YES 4 $25 gift certificates!!! She's drawing the winners in 10 days and, don't tell her I told you this, ticket sales have been a little slow so your odds of winning something are REALLY GOOD! 😉 Would you consider buying a ticket or two or six to help send us this summer?  Your support would mean the world to us!

When Creativity Comes Calling

 

I almost feel like Pinterest has taken the place of Blogdom.  Don't get me wrong, I started down this "Sincerely Home" road a long time ago so that I could let my spread out family and friends keep up with us- it was never intended to be an awe-inspiring work of blog art!  Some years blogging was easy.... the kids were growing and changing and inspiring me to take lots of pics and write about their shenanigans.  Some years blogging was impossible....my home life was difficult.  I was difficult.  I was........sigh....uninspired.  I just couldn't find the sweet spot.

Some years- I was so inspired I felt like Mrs Creative Domesticity was knockin and I was answering! 

Do you ever go through a dry spell?  It may be a parenting dry spell- when you're just on auto pilot hoping that there's creamer in the fridge for your coffee tomorrow. It may be a marriage dry spell- where you guys pass in the house but before you know it, you've climbed into bed and he's watching TV and you realize you haven't spoken to each other yet today.  It may be a spiritual dry spell- where nothing seems to be going right and you feel so..well...alone.  Or it just may be a creative dry spell- the laundry is done and the house is liveable (not clean...but liveable!) but the hobbies and crafts that you were once so passionate about have been forgotten because at the end of the day.....you're just spent.

That's where I've been.  But I'm so glad to assure you that if you've been there too- don't think it's a permanent residence.  It's a cycle.  At least it always has been for me.  And oh!  Happy Day!  I feel like I'm coming back around.

But now back to the whole Pinterest comment.  I completely stopped looking at all of my favorite blogs because of Pinterest.  While I find great IDEAS on Pinterest, I find great RELATIONSHIPS through blogging. 

I wonder......what's your take?  Pinterest vs Blogdom?

When the goin gets rough......

the battered stop blogging.

It has been a rough five months.  I did not get to go to college.  The admissions office dilly-dallied so badly that I couldn't get admitted in time to register for fall classes.....thus began the downward spiral.

I know you don't care to hear all of my unpleasant junk, so I will spare you.  But I will say that, as always, God has been good and taught me a very valuable lesson.  Here it is......

Only He can satisfy the desires of my heart.  HE has a plan for my life- and I may think that I can order things the way I want but the truth is that if it's not in His plan for me, it's not going to happen.

It took a lot of prayer and submission and quiet- but I think I'm coming back around to myself again.  There are still a few issues that God is working through.  But little by little I think I'm coming back.

Also, I became very ill the week before Operation Christmas Child National Collection Week.  For those of you who know me, this was the worst possible thing that could hit me.  Y'all- I'm serious.....I WENT to the doctor and ASKED

I SAID ASKED

for a shot!!!!  No good.  2 rounds of antibiotics and five weeks later- I'm about 80% and very happy!

So during this nasty bout with gosh only knows what, God brought in the most amazing harvest of shoebox gifts! 

39,235!!!!

That's 5,227 MORE than last year! Praise God!! And the even better news is that OCC is seeing similar numbers all over the country!  I'm just astounded!  Thank you to all of you who packed shoeboxes this year!!!

Ok, now you're all caught up.  I will hopefully be back to posting.  I wandered over here because I saw someone had posted a comment that needed published.  I started clicking around and realized how much I missed Sincerely Home.  She's so therapeutic and good for my soul.  See you again soon.

Did ya miss us?

UH MAY ZING vacay!  3 weeks and one day of food stuffin, pop guzzling, Momma huggin, travel lovin goodness!


First morning with Momma.....



and she treated us to a yummy breakfast.


Vermont is so beautiful!


One of the highlights...Almanzo Wilder's childhood home.  Read Farmer Boy?


Ya gotta love a company with a sense of humor!


Lake Champlain


The Vermont Teddy Bear Company- their bears are guaranteed for life! This one needed some help!


And we're off on our adventure!


Always dreamed of coming here! So excited to do it with my Momma.


Walker's Point- and they said George was in!


Off to whale watch with the kiddos!


Thaaaaaar she blows!!!!!


Paul Revere's home


Abby got a violin- it changed our lives! (For the better!)

Ok, so I know that was quite a few pics- but let me tell ya.......that was just a drop in the bucket!  The highlight reel, if you will!

New England is amazing and if Andy were offered a job there tomorrow, I'd be ready to move by Wednesday! I love the history that swallows you up- to the point that you suddenly don't even realize that you're standing on a dock that is 400 years old!  I was in a boat in the same waters that the Pilgrims parted as they landed in our brand new baby country! The very beginning!

Astounding.

Anyway....back to reality now!  I took the rest of this past week- after getting home- to unpack, tidy up a smidge, and get my bearings back.  Yesterday I gave my first presentation on my trip to Africa and it was exhilarating to talk about it.  Lots of laughing.  Lots of weeping.  Hopefully very effective.  Tomorrow I have committed the day to working on my quilt that I began 2 years ago!  Momma took me to the Vermont Quilt Festival and it was very inspiring!  Laundry and quiltmaking.....that's ALL that's happening here tomorrow!

NEXT weekend is our yearly trip to Atlanta for the Southeast Homeschool Expo.  It's the one day Andy devotes to talking to me about curriculum as long as I want!  We don't do workshops- only the vendor hall- and I feel like a kid in a candy store!  This year I have completed 95% of my curriculum shopping- so I'll be looking at French curriculum and fun stuff like Jim Weiss and Miller Pad & Paper!  Next post I will fill you in on what my homeschooling plan for next year is!  Middle school.....sheesh.  Oh, and a trip to Six Flags on Sunday!  Then.........

Good-bye, Summer!

Second guessing....

I have always loved being from "Momma South"- the porches, the sweet tea, gentlemen holding doors for ladies......

but I gotta tell ya, from the bottom of my heart, I think I was meant to live in New England!  I've been in Vermont for a little over a week and, though I miss Andy terribly, I just don't want to ever leave!



Now I know some of you nay-sayers are thinking, "Just wait until winter hits!  She'll change her mind!"  But I was here last winter and it might have been a bit different but it was certainly not enough to deter my thinking.  I HATE hot weather.  HATE it!!!  I'm the person that schedules vacation for the end of October in Nova Scotia so that it will be cold and we can have a fire!

Having said ALL of that, I miss my bed.  And my pillow.  And my dog.  And my cats.  And my garden.  And my chair.................

It's official....I'm a college girl!

 

For some unknown reason, this line was the first thought that went through my mind as I read the letter.......

 

Dear Marla,

  Congratulations!  You have been admitted to Jefferson State Community College pending receipt of all required documentation.

 

Why am I not freaking out?  Why am I not worried about educating the children AND myself at the same time?  What about Operation Christmas Child?  Why does all of this seem so easy?  Grace.  God's grace.  That accompanied by the fact that I still, after all of these years, love learning.  But, let's get back to the God part....

 

Sometimes, and this may sound silly to you, I feel God tell me to be an example to my kids.  I know!  Crazy, right?  How can this apply to returning to college after 17 years?  Well- we are struggling with a bout of under-achieving at Cainberly Academy.  My children are capable of WAY more than they are producing currently.  A lack of discipline on all of our parts has lead to some poor work habits and an all around sense of "get-by-it-ness". (Ya like that one?  Totally just made that one up!)  So, what is a mom to do?  Lead by example.  I have 15 hours required to fulfill the 6 I need for my AA degree.  Time to show these kiddos what it means to study, take pride in your work, and do your very best!  And to FOLLOW THROUGH to the end- that may be the biggest lesson.

 

So, for the next year, if you need me, I'll have my nose in a book.......of some sort........

 

TOS Review: Birdcage Press- Go Fish for Impressionist Artists Cards

If you have never checked out Birdcage Press, my Friend you need to go look! 

Our final review is for their Go Fish for Impressionist Artists cards!  They are a beautiful set of 36 playing cards which feature works of art from eight Impressionists such as Monet, Pissarro, and Cassatt.  They are stunning in and of themselves, but they also come with a 28 page fact book that highlights each artists and gives pertinent information on their lives and times.  The card series is intended for ages 7 and up and is only $11.95.



Aren't they lovely?  I would go as far as to say one of my favorite review items!  And let me just tell ya, Birdcage Press has a WIDE variety of card topics which have racked up at least 19 different parenting and product awards!  Topic categories include Art, History, Nature and Wildlife, and Air and Space.  While I LOVE the cards, make sure to check out their games and books as well.

So, the Cain kids had to endure a few hours of Momma working in the church library.  I packed some games and the Go Fish cards and hoped for the best.  After working for about an hour, I checked in on the kids and found them playing 'memory' in the floor with the cards!  They said they had  used the fact book to get more ideas for playing with the cards after they had played 'go fish' for a bit! I was thrilled!  We had recently studied Impressionism and I was pleased to see that the children recognized many of the works and the artists on the cards!  Abby loved the Degas and Cassatt cards the most, and her most favorite was the card pictured above- "Breakfast in Bed" by Mary Cassatt.  We've pulled them out many times to play......or even just to admire.

I highly recommend these great visuals if you are hoping to teach your children fine art, and the Crew reviewed the following Birdcage Press products as well:

Art Ditto (http://www.birdcagepress.com/Art-Ditto-p/220.htm)

Art Close Up: Museum of Modern Art (http://www.birdcagepress.com/Art-Close-Up-Museum-of-Modern-Art-p/208.htm)

Go Fish for Ancient Egypt (http://www.birdcagepress.com/Go-Fish-for-Ancient-Egypt-p/270.htm)

Wild Cards: Baby Animals Around the World (http://www.birdcagepress.com/Wild-Cards-Baby-Animals-p/313.htm)

Wild Cards: Backyard Birds (http://www.birdcagepress.com/Wild-Cards-Backyard-Birds-p/314.htm)